The new place feels like being in a start-up, although we are almost 1,000 staff strong. Well, it's only about a tenth of old place. The new one has a noticeable lack in leadership. Formal leadership is in place, but the almighty leader is invisible. I don't give a fuck as I am no longer in a leading position and limit my interaction with poor leadership. I also master the art of not giving a fuck much better than some months ago. This lady explains it perfectly:
Sunday, 11 June 2017
Leaving a toxic work place has been life changing. Everything is better. Everything. I don't know how I managed to cope for that long. It really nearly broke me. But good things come to good people and good things came to me.
The new place feels like being in a start-up, although we are almost 1,000 staff strong. Well, it's only about a tenth of old place. The new one has a noticeable lack in leadership. Formal leadership is in place, but the almighty leader is invisible. I don't give a fuck as I am no longer in a leading position and limit my interaction with poor leadership. I also master the art of not giving a fuck much better than some months ago. This lady explains it perfectly:
The new place feels like being in a start-up, although we are almost 1,000 staff strong. Well, it's only about a tenth of old place. The new one has a noticeable lack in leadership. Formal leadership is in place, but the almighty leader is invisible. I don't give a fuck as I am no longer in a leading position and limit my interaction with poor leadership. I also master the art of not giving a fuck much better than some months ago. This lady explains it perfectly:
Tuesday, 20 December 2016
Saturday, 3 December 2016
Resigning from the corporate life
I have resigned from the corporate life. What a soulless place. I even got intimidated by an HR person who tried to make me tell about my future plans and if I will work for a competitor. I held my cards tight to my chest and now they are pulling my IT activity for the past three months and want to monitor my activity until I leave. Is this North Korea or what?
Monday, 19 September 2016
Saturday, 20 August 2016
The 2nd time of my life
The first time of my life was in my early 20s. Studying and working abroad with a bunch of world citizens, breaking out of the every day life. I remember the feeling returning to my university hometown after more than one year. The cashier at my local supermarket was still the same, sitting at the checkout all the time I was away and had the time of my life.
18 months later I went into my next adventure. I boarded a plane to a country I had never been to to set up a new life. No flat. No job. Little money. Sleepless nights.
The job came along and grabbed all my attention for almost 10 years. I burned out. I took time out and after some initial struggles and confusion about what life is about, who I am, what I want and how I got into this situation and if I should resign from the job, I thoroughly enjoyed the second half of my break. I lived. I slept. I laughed.
Last week I returned to work and regret everything. After two days I contemplated resigning again. Savings would keep me going for a good year. But the savings were supposed to go into my property. Health is more important. I want to be happy. Resign?
I give it another week. Another chance.
18 months later I went into my next adventure. I boarded a plane to a country I had never been to to set up a new life. No flat. No job. Little money. Sleepless nights.
The job came along and grabbed all my attention for almost 10 years. I burned out. I took time out and after some initial struggles and confusion about what life is about, who I am, what I want and how I got into this situation and if I should resign from the job, I thoroughly enjoyed the second half of my break. I lived. I slept. I laughed.
Last week I returned to work and regret everything. After two days I contemplated resigning again. Savings would keep me going for a good year. But the savings were supposed to go into my property. Health is more important. I want to be happy. Resign?
I give it another week. Another chance.
Wednesday, 3 August 2016
50% Bliss
I am still not back to work. How right I was to take time out. I have been rethinking my life. For whatever reason I have always been chasing something. The next pay rise, the next promotion, the next level of responsibility, more travel, more savings, the property ladder. All to feel secure. I thought these things could solve all my problems and that they would bring infinite happiness. I chased fairness and justice. I tried the impossible and see myself as a fool. All those years I have been chasing the wrong things. They made me unhappy. Every time I got something I had chased I wanted more soon thereafter.
Now I have had time and energy to reflect what I really want. I have not been chasing the evenings with friends at my place, some home cooking and amazing desserts, I love so much. I have not been chasing making my apartment cosy and pretty after I bought it, I have not been chasing spending more quality time with family. I have not been chasing making new friends from all paths of life. I have not been chasing who I really am and want to be. I have not been chasing my passion for swimming, or try new cooking recipes with super food, and I have not been chasing well-being. I have not looked after myself enough. I want to chase all these things now and not burn out again.
Now I have had time and energy to reflect what I really want. I have not been chasing the evenings with friends at my place, some home cooking and amazing desserts, I love so much. I have not been chasing making my apartment cosy and pretty after I bought it, I have not been chasing spending more quality time with family. I have not been chasing making new friends from all paths of life. I have not been chasing who I really am and want to be. I have not been chasing my passion for swimming, or try new cooking recipes with super food, and I have not been chasing well-being. I have not looked after myself enough. I want to chase all these things now and not burn out again.
Friday, 8 July 2016
Getting off the hamster wheel
Some weeks ago I hit the wall. This one morning I had so much resistance against going to this office in me I could no longer take it. Instead I went to my GP, who signed me off and I have been off work since. Knowing that I will not have to put up with the corporate life for a while was incredibly liberating. I was exhausted & drained, both physically and mentally.
The first two weeks I slept 10 hours most nights and still needed an afternoon nap. The rest of the time I tried to go out to get some fresh air and do some things around the flat. Not in a million years would I have realised how worn out I am had I not gone to the doctor this one morning. The first two weeks made no difference. I did not have more energy than before. The thoughts of going back sent chills down my spine. I love my job, but not its circumstances.
The first two weeks I slept 10 hours most nights and still needed an afternoon nap. The rest of the time I tried to go out to get some fresh air and do some things around the flat. Not in a million years would I have realised how worn out I am had I not gone to the doctor this one morning. The first two weeks made no difference. I did not have more energy than before. The thoughts of going back sent chills down my spine. I love my job, but not its circumstances.
Tuesday, 14 June 2016
The Penis Premium
The Penis Premium: The Penis Premium is a term used by underpaid women to describe the gender pay gap in a cynical manner. The Penis Premium is the difference in pay between confident appearing men, who have little experience and successfully push for a pay rise in a six monthly cycle, and whingy women with significantly more experience and higher responsibilities, who professionally lay out their case for a higher salary but are not eligible for a pay rise due to their lack of penises.
Monday, 11 April 2016
I told the leader I am looking
and he took it well.
I am after better money and a job where my actual responsibilities are formalised. If I am to manage and develop people the way I do I want it to be in my title and want to get compensated for. There is this internal position that has come up and I am going to apply for it. I told the leader I would like to find out more about the opportunity. He got the hint.
He knew straight away what bothers me. He said he would support me if this opportunity was what I wanted but that he would like to keep me.
My leader is a controlled person. He has the biggest poker face. But in this case his body language gave him away. He crumbled.
It made me feel good. I know he likes my work and cannot change what I want changing. But I have to do what I have to do.
I am after better money and a job where my actual responsibilities are formalised. If I am to manage and develop people the way I do I want it to be in my title and want to get compensated for. There is this internal position that has come up and I am going to apply for it. I told the leader I would like to find out more about the opportunity. He got the hint.
He knew straight away what bothers me. He said he would support me if this opportunity was what I wanted but that he would like to keep me.
My leader is a controlled person. He has the biggest poker face. But in this case his body language gave him away. He crumbled.
It made me feel good. I know he likes my work and cannot change what I want changing. But I have to do what I have to do.
Thursday, 5 November 2015
How to divert from a difficult topic
I respect my leader a lot because I can observe and learn from his behaviour to build my own leadership skills. He is level headed, objective, emotionally intelligent and more. In recent months I have brought up the topic of my career progression again and again, just to keep it on his radar and make sure there is no misunderstanding (bad experience I had with a previous bully boss).
So, this week I called him as he was traveling overseas to discuss this and that, including my dissatisfaction with my current situation. I tell him as it is and then he answers, referring to my comments. Right after that however, he diverts from the subject - and he always does it in the same way: he says what he is up to for the rest of the day, then next week and the week after, that he will be off work then but that I can always contact him by text message. He does this on many occasions when he just wants to move away from a subject. He gets me to move away from a frustrating, yet important for me, subject and makes me feel important and appreciated in the end just by saying I can contact him at any time, even during his holiday.
Only now after several months I can see the pattern. On the one hand I sometimes feel fooled because he can manage any conversation very skilfully, while on the other hand I admire him for this and almost feel privileged to be able to work with him.
So, this week I called him as he was traveling overseas to discuss this and that, including my dissatisfaction with my current situation. I tell him as it is and then he answers, referring to my comments. Right after that however, he diverts from the subject - and he always does it in the same way: he says what he is up to for the rest of the day, then next week and the week after, that he will be off work then but that I can always contact him by text message. He does this on many occasions when he just wants to move away from a subject. He gets me to move away from a frustrating, yet important for me, subject and makes me feel important and appreciated in the end just by saying I can contact him at any time, even during his holiday.
Only now after several months I can see the pattern. On the one hand I sometimes feel fooled because he can manage any conversation very skilfully, while on the other hand I admire him for this and almost feel privileged to be able to work with him.
Monday, 5 October 2015
Becoming more aware: body language and EQ
Currently I am working on developing my soft skills, which will be useful for the type of job I am doing. On a regular basis I need to provide a vision to several people, get them on board for my ideas, have them share their ideas, motivate them and build a mutually trustful relationship. By nature I would appear to have a high EQ. I noticed in my early teens that I pick up subtleties others would not, although it took me into my early 20s specify this further and come across high sensitivity and the concept of emotional intelligence.
So, there was me and my coworker today whose background could not be any more different. I am European, he is Chinese, none of us has English as their first language. I tend to be direct and managed to offend people from another background in the past. Friends have told me they were intimidated by me when we first met, so my focus was on starting today's meeting in a relaxed atmosphere, observe and adjust my voice and words accordingly. After all this meeting was about him taking on more work and contribute to what I do and I needed him to get on board for this and wanting to work with me.
His body language was tense and he looked as though he wanted to leave this meeting. I sensed he was worried about being overloaded with work and tried to find a way to put him at ease, say something that would help him, not interfere with my own values and still help to mutually agree our way forward. After some time I reassured him that it is important to me the people I work with are happy and than I am happy if they can balance work and their 'other life'. I gave him an idea as to what his focus would be on in the coming months so he got a sense of the expectations by taking on this project. Maybe 40 minutes into this meeting I saw a sudden shift. He relaxed in his chair and was even leaning forward. It was as though a huge weight fell off him and he then said it would be good for him to take on this work as he can learn a lot. I could not help but smile at this success for both of us.
So, there was me and my coworker today whose background could not be any more different. I am European, he is Chinese, none of us has English as their first language. I tend to be direct and managed to offend people from another background in the past. Friends have told me they were intimidated by me when we first met, so my focus was on starting today's meeting in a relaxed atmosphere, observe and adjust my voice and words accordingly. After all this meeting was about him taking on more work and contribute to what I do and I needed him to get on board for this and wanting to work with me.
His body language was tense and he looked as though he wanted to leave this meeting. I sensed he was worried about being overloaded with work and tried to find a way to put him at ease, say something that would help him, not interfere with my own values and still help to mutually agree our way forward. After some time I reassured him that it is important to me the people I work with are happy and than I am happy if they can balance work and their 'other life'. I gave him an idea as to what his focus would be on in the coming months so he got a sense of the expectations by taking on this project. Maybe 40 minutes into this meeting I saw a sudden shift. He relaxed in his chair and was even leaning forward. It was as though a huge weight fell off him and he then said it would be good for him to take on this work as he can learn a lot. I could not help but smile at this success for both of us.
Monday, 14 September 2015
Divide and conquer with the bully boss
The middle aged female bully boss likes to surround herself with young males in the early or mid 20s. She loves the attention they give each other, while the junior colleagues cannot reach her the water in terms of achievements and have one thing I do not: a penis. I mean it. The bully boss does not like other women, which has become more than obvious. I am yet to figure out what triggers this, but it is easy to tell how she reacts having other women near her: she throws them under the bus, badmouths them, intimidates them and gives them the cold shoulder. When with other women the bully boss has to have her way and will do anything to get this.
Today she surrounded herself with four junior colleagues, three males and one female, and started gossiping about the leader. Two of them are her direct reports. She disclosed information from a meeting with the leader and other line managers, while at the same time discounting what the leader said in that meeting. The young colleagues all agreed with her and I wish them that one day they will be independent and strong enough to have their own opinion.
Those young people must have felt part of the club chatting about this stuff with a senior person. What they do not know is that the recent organizational changes have, in fact, meant the demotion of the bully boss and that she has lost credibility amongst other seniors. She excels as an individual contributor and has brought in a lot of money for the company, but the lacks situational awareness nor does she understand her responsibilities as a manager. The be friends with her is not something I would aim for, but I may be biased here.
Today she surrounded herself with four junior colleagues, three males and one female, and started gossiping about the leader. Two of them are her direct reports. She disclosed information from a meeting with the leader and other line managers, while at the same time discounting what the leader said in that meeting. The young colleagues all agreed with her and I wish them that one day they will be independent and strong enough to have their own opinion.
Those young people must have felt part of the club chatting about this stuff with a senior person. What they do not know is that the recent organizational changes have, in fact, meant the demotion of the bully boss and that she has lost credibility amongst other seniors. She excels as an individual contributor and has brought in a lot of money for the company, but the lacks situational awareness nor does she understand her responsibilities as a manager. The be friends with her is not something I would aim for, but I may be biased here.
Friday, 11 September 2015
Monday, 7 September 2015
The bully still behave as if she was my boss. The situation has been this:
Every monday the bully boss held a team meeting - this was started long time ago - without an agenda any kind of structure. Sometimes she would ask me what I am working on, or would want to know some detail of my work rather than providing the big picture, the framework. Nothing ever came out of these meetings nor did the bully boss remember anything I said. Quite often she would ask me the same questions repeatedly in different Monday meetings.
Some weeks ago the bully boss had authority removed and the leader (her boss and now also mine) took over the monday meetings. He would go around and give everyone the chance to speak briefly to address any concerns or burning issues. If critical the leader would follow up on some items. Now, sometimes the leader is not here, so he has asked the bully boss to hold these meetings on his behalf.
It is not that the bully boss has learned how to hold a constructive meeting since the leader took over.
As soon as it started she asked me:
Bully boss (BB): So, target, what are you working on at the moment?
Me: Just the usual stuff (I don't report to her after all)
BB: So, have you got your project finished?
Me: Yes, we finished last week.
BB: When does it go live?
Me: In September (how many times I have I said this before???)
BB (trying to find other munition): So, what about your trip to Brazil?
Me: Yes, I'm going to Brazil.
BB: When are you going?
Me: I am going in October.
BB: Who are you meeting?
Me: We are setting up meetings at the moment.
BB: And who are you meeting? Are you getting help from this other lady?
Me: I am working on it with 'this other lady' and the leader. If you are interested I can share with you the agenda when it is finalised.
BB looked visibly confused not being used to boundary setting. Instead of focusing on important things that need to be addressed rather urgently, she randomly picks subjects and wants full reporting on them. It's not that the leader is on annual leave, he is just not in the office but working, and there just is no need for her to try and get detailed reporting from me about an upcoming business trip, especially when the leader, my boss, is available otherwise, just not physically. This as example my seem trivial on its own, but it was a pattern until not long ago. It is a way to control other peoples work. How I know that? Well, the bully boss has not been constructive in bringing up the subject and her asking. She has not come up with any ideas or constructive feedback - she just felt she is entitled to be kept in the loop for whatever reason and that I am obliged to answer. Maybe she needed to feel in authority, I don't know, but her asking was not leading a team nor did she represent the leader in his absence.
When I gave here the final answer, she was seeking approval from two junior team members. You know when one looks at another like 'Are you thinking what I am thinking?'. She needed them to agree that I am acting in a weird way, apparently, because I did not oblige.
Every monday the bully boss held a team meeting - this was started long time ago - without an agenda any kind of structure. Sometimes she would ask me what I am working on, or would want to know some detail of my work rather than providing the big picture, the framework. Nothing ever came out of these meetings nor did the bully boss remember anything I said. Quite often she would ask me the same questions repeatedly in different Monday meetings.
Some weeks ago the bully boss had authority removed and the leader (her boss and now also mine) took over the monday meetings. He would go around and give everyone the chance to speak briefly to address any concerns or burning issues. If critical the leader would follow up on some items. Now, sometimes the leader is not here, so he has asked the bully boss to hold these meetings on his behalf.
It is not that the bully boss has learned how to hold a constructive meeting since the leader took over.
As soon as it started she asked me:
Bully boss (BB): So, target, what are you working on at the moment?
Me: Just the usual stuff (I don't report to her after all)
BB: So, have you got your project finished?
Me: Yes, we finished last week.
BB: When does it go live?
Me: In September (how many times I have I said this before???)
BB (trying to find other munition): So, what about your trip to Brazil?
Me: Yes, I'm going to Brazil.
BB: When are you going?
Me: I am going in October.
BB: Who are you meeting?
Me: We are setting up meetings at the moment.
BB: And who are you meeting? Are you getting help from this other lady?
Me: I am working on it with 'this other lady' and the leader. If you are interested I can share with you the agenda when it is finalised.
BB looked visibly confused not being used to boundary setting. Instead of focusing on important things that need to be addressed rather urgently, she randomly picks subjects and wants full reporting on them. It's not that the leader is on annual leave, he is just not in the office but working, and there just is no need for her to try and get detailed reporting from me about an upcoming business trip, especially when the leader, my boss, is available otherwise, just not physically. This as example my seem trivial on its own, but it was a pattern until not long ago. It is a way to control other peoples work. How I know that? Well, the bully boss has not been constructive in bringing up the subject and her asking. She has not come up with any ideas or constructive feedback - she just felt she is entitled to be kept in the loop for whatever reason and that I am obliged to answer. Maybe she needed to feel in authority, I don't know, but her asking was not leading a team nor did she represent the leader in his absence.
When I gave here the final answer, she was seeking approval from two junior team members. You know when one looks at another like 'Are you thinking what I am thinking?'. She needed them to agree that I am acting in a weird way, apparently, because I did not oblige.
Friday, 21 August 2015
A 1 to 1 with the leader
After my first one to one with the leader today I felt energized and motivated. The leader has understood my career ambitions and clearly stated his expectations. He asked for my opinion and went through my objectives for the rest of the financial year. He also suggested a weighing of the objectives, was complimentary about my strengths and gave me ideas for development opportunities. He was totally calm which enabled me to remain calm as well. The meeting was a positive experience and I know I can approach him anytime about anything.
Previously with the bully boss, the boss started the meeting nervously and unprepared. I did not feel the bully boss was in tune with my achievements during the year nor that she cared. She would spend time talking highly of her favourites in the team (all young boys right from uni or with little experience, while herself she is a middle aged woman) and how lucky we are to have hired them. She told me how good they are and mentioned some of their objectives to me. I would desperately try and tell her what I have done and get her to notice it because I knew it is important for my advancement. The bully boss' mind had no time for it so it seemed and would never follow up on our discussion. At the end of the year I would complete my self-assessment, list my achievements and tell the bully boss during the review, but the bully boss would not comment. Instead she would sit there and just look at me, before drifting off to speaking about other people. I felt confused, abused and demotivated. It sucked the life out of me.
Previously with the bully boss, the boss started the meeting nervously and unprepared. I did not feel the bully boss was in tune with my achievements during the year nor that she cared. She would spend time talking highly of her favourites in the team (all young boys right from uni or with little experience, while herself she is a middle aged woman) and how lucky we are to have hired them. She told me how good they are and mentioned some of their objectives to me. I would desperately try and tell her what I have done and get her to notice it because I knew it is important for my advancement. The bully boss' mind had no time for it so it seemed and would never follow up on our discussion. At the end of the year I would complete my self-assessment, list my achievements and tell the bully boss during the review, but the bully boss would not comment. Instead she would sit there and just look at me, before drifting off to speaking about other people. I felt confused, abused and demotivated. It sucked the life out of me.
Monday, 10 August 2015
On Honeymoon with the leader
Today was day 1 with my new boss as he returned from annual leave. It is incredibly liberating to be able to work in a safe place and it looks like I am one of the few targets that do not eventually need to leave their job due to bullying.
As a number one rule leaders need to make their direct reports look as good as possible, so the new reporting structure has been disguised as reorganisation within the business unit. Well, I am certain some changes would have taken place anyhow, but if it ain't broken don't fix it, right? In some way the bully boss has had responsibility removed and I consider myself lucky to have this kind of outcome for myself.
How did the bully boss react? Well, the bully boss went into silent treatment. I now definitely no longer exist for her. Although we sit only three meters away, there is no eye contact, no good morning, no goodbye, nothing. I sensed a similar behaviour towards her manager which now is also my manager. I no longer need to care.
So, this is me on the honeymoon with the new boss and I look forward to re-assess the situation in a few months time once I get a full picture. I am very optimistic. It cannot get worse. Gone is the feeling of powerlessness against the manipulation of the higher ranking people, against the bad mouthing of my ability to perform the job, the isolation from the rest of the team, the pitting of team members against each other to establish winners and losers (me), the intimidation and the fault finding with anything I do. I salute everyone who has gone through this longer than me (18 months). It took me about six months to figure out something is not right, another six months to realise I cannot fix the situation and another six months to fight for an outcome I can live with.
I do not know how much it has helped to report the issue to HR, but I do know that I would do it again. What did I have to lose? I had reached a stage where I was prepared to leave the company on the spot, so I thought I might as well try this route before acting on Plan B after quitting. It has been stressful and exhausting but so is putting up with bullying and I am glad I stood up for myself.
As a number one rule leaders need to make their direct reports look as good as possible, so the new reporting structure has been disguised as reorganisation within the business unit. Well, I am certain some changes would have taken place anyhow, but if it ain't broken don't fix it, right? In some way the bully boss has had responsibility removed and I consider myself lucky to have this kind of outcome for myself.
How did the bully boss react? Well, the bully boss went into silent treatment. I now definitely no longer exist for her. Although we sit only three meters away, there is no eye contact, no good morning, no goodbye, nothing. I sensed a similar behaviour towards her manager which now is also my manager. I no longer need to care.
So, this is me on the honeymoon with the new boss and I look forward to re-assess the situation in a few months time once I get a full picture. I am very optimistic. It cannot get worse. Gone is the feeling of powerlessness against the manipulation of the higher ranking people, against the bad mouthing of my ability to perform the job, the isolation from the rest of the team, the pitting of team members against each other to establish winners and losers (me), the intimidation and the fault finding with anything I do. I salute everyone who has gone through this longer than me (18 months). It took me about six months to figure out something is not right, another six months to realise I cannot fix the situation and another six months to fight for an outcome I can live with.
I do not know how much it has helped to report the issue to HR, but I do know that I would do it again. What did I have to lose? I had reached a stage where I was prepared to leave the company on the spot, so I thought I might as well try this route before acting on Plan B after quitting. It has been stressful and exhausting but so is putting up with bullying and I am glad I stood up for myself.
Sunday, 26 July 2015
Getting back to old self
After months of fighting I have a new boss and I am not the only one. Two more people from the 'old' team have been moved under a different manager. It probably is not coincidence that those two were the bully boss' favourites, while I was the least favourite unable to accomplish anything, apparently.
The dynamics will change now and it will be interesting to watch. I believe the bully boss has been confused since the news came and has been giving me the silent treatment. She has also snapped at her manager - the bully boss and myself now report to the same person. I have no problem with it, but I am sure she has. The bully boss wants exclusive access to the higher ups she desperately tried to keep me out of while I was under her. This was one way to control me and make sure I do not look good in front of them. She badmouthed me.
This is the most relaxed Sunday night in a long time.
The dynamics will change now and it will be interesting to watch. I believe the bully boss has been confused since the news came and has been giving me the silent treatment. She has also snapped at her manager - the bully boss and myself now report to the same person. I have no problem with it, but I am sure she has. The bully boss wants exclusive access to the higher ups she desperately tried to keep me out of while I was under her. This was one way to control me and make sure I do not look good in front of them. She badmouthed me.
This is the most relaxed Sunday night in a long time.
Thursday, 18 June 2015
What the bully says and what they really mean
The bully boss said the following in an important meeting:
'I do think (my name) is a good person, I want to support her and want her to progress.' - while shaking her head.
#bodylanguage
'I do think (my name) is a good person, I want to support her and want her to progress.' - while shaking her head.
#bodylanguage
Monday, 15 June 2015
News from the HR room
Are you a people leader?
Do you think you can make your own rules in the company?
Do you tell your underlings you have seen it all?
Do you tell your underlings you want to get them to a level to do things they did not think they could do?
Welcome to an HR meeting with me, where you can learn to do things you did not think you can do. You may be senior and close to retirement, but you are not God who truly has seen it all.
Do you think you can make your own rules in the company?
Do you tell your underlings you have seen it all?
Do you tell your underlings you want to get them to a level to do things they did not think they could do?
Welcome to an HR meeting with me, where you can learn to do things you did not think you can do. You may be senior and close to retirement, but you are not God who truly has seen it all.
Sunday, 14 June 2015
Getting ready for more abuse and putdowns
After five days away from the bully boss the business trip felt like a holiday. We enjoyed work and laughter and I learnt that 'the shit at work does not increase proportionally'. I am not sure this applies in my case, as the better I do and the more I accomplish the more emotional abuse I experience. Under no circumstances does the bully boss want me to progress. So I lower my expectations and prepare for more emotional battering, putdowns and lies. This way I won't be as disappointed or surprised. It's the way we operate at this place. It's best to disengage and stop fighting for my work to get recognised or else I will drain emotionally, but use this energy elsewhere.
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